The Lantern’s Ember⭐⭐ (The Pumpkin was Fun..)

Author: Colleen Houck
Pages: 386
Genre: YA Paranormal
Series: Standalone
Format: Paperback
ISBN: 9781473693586




“Welcome to a world where nightmarish creatures reign supreme.
Five hundred years ago, Jack made a deal with the devil. It’s difficult for him to remember much about his mortal days. So, he focuses on fulfilling his sentence as a Lantern—one of the watchmen who guard the portals to the Otherworld, a realm crawling with every nightmarish creature imaginable. Jack has spent centuries jumping from town to town, ensuring that nary a mortal—or not-so-mortal—soul slips past him. That is, until he meets beautiful Ember O’Dare.
Seventeen, stubborn, and a natural-born witch, Ember feels a strong pull to the Otherworld. Undeterred by Jack’s warnings, she crosses into the forbidden plane with the help of a mysterious and debonair vampire—and the chase through a dazzling, dangerous world is on. Jack must do everything in his power to get Ember back where she belongs before both the earthly and unearthly worlds descend into chaos.”

Goodreads Synopsis

Story:
I was tricked into reading a reverse harem! I’m dead serious, and seriously annoyed!
The story felt aimless because it was pulled in every possible direction. Where are we even going with this? One character wants to do one thing, one another thing, and our female lead Ember just wants to kiss boys and go shopping. And there’s too much time where the males are just having a huge pissing contest. I just wanted them to pull out the measuring tape and get it over with! The best thing about this story was the bromance between a human and a floating pumpkin. No, I’m not making that up.
I could not take this story seriously, and could not even bother to read the last third of the book properly but ended up skim reading. From what I gathered, I did not miss anything worth truly bothering with.


World:
Except for our world where witches are real, there’s the Otherworld. A more futuristic Nightmare Before Christmas mixed with Sleepy Hollow with a Steam-Punk vibe. I really liked the world that was created. It’s such a shame that it did not come with a more enjoyable story.


Characters:
Let’s just focus on our main character Ember, because the others are just there to want her and make the reader swoon with their general basic-book-hunkness. (They fail.)
Ember is annoying, completely senseless and that just makes her pathetic. And I’m sorry, but any character that complains about her boobs being too big is a huge no for me. She only wants the things that she can’t have, and does not really care who gets caught up in the crossfire. Things are not her fault right? She does feel remorse once, waaaay too late in the book. And she’s dumb as a doornail and does not go trough any character-growth in the end. Yeah, she’s the main issue of this whole book. Remove her and the book would be fine.


Writing:
I’m not to sure what to say about this.. There’s nothing wrong with the writing in it self, but how it has come together. There’s all these elements, but no clear sense of a direction. I don’t know where we are going or why. And new stuff is just being shoved in there to make the whole direction even more confusing. It’s a mess.


Conclusion:
I really enjoyed the general vibe and aesthetics of the world and there were some fun things popping up here and there. But I really did not give a rats ass about the characters or their ends. And they never did anything that had me remotely excited. If a book where there’s just a bunch of men flexing their muscles to get a girl is your kink, this is the book for you! I felt that this book took me to a stale date with silly entertainment and left me with the bill. At least I’m not annoyed enough that I can’t make fun of it. 2 stars.


Colleen Houck // Goodreads review // Instagram

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